hairy legs

I was talking with a man and my legs were bare. I became a little self-conscious as they were quite hairy - not dense coverage, indeed extremely sparse, but what there was was very long and blowing in the wind. Hairs, about ten centimetres long, swayed in the gentle breeze. I began to tell him that I knew that they were hairy and that I was planning on doing something about it, but my voice trailed off and I knew he wasn't listening, and that I sounded as though I was making excuses anyway.
Next the hairs became palm fronds that were growing on my legs; sharp, pointy leaves poked through my skin. I was less horrified than amused, and began to pull at the leaves, plucking them from my pores.