split in two & chicks

I was lying on a large window sill, parallel to the window, with my brother who was also lying parallel with his head at my feet, so that if we were standing up, I would be standing on his head. As we gazed out the window to the sky, I felt the ground beneath me shift. I felt the floor was tipping away from the rest of the house, that our combined weight was too much and we were going to slip out the window. I felt so panicked that I split in two: my spirit left my body and went outside the house so that I could see what was going on. From outside, I could see that the floor was indeed tipping and that my brother and I were in danger. I called out to him and he rolled back inside, but my body remained, lying next to the window. My spirit ran back up the stairs but by the time I reached my body, it had moved. My brother told me that a baby chicken, a chick, had wandered over to my body and, being protective, my body had sheltered the chick and taken it to safety. I then saw my body walk through the room wearing a long white undergarment with a structured skirt, held out with hoops and bones, so that you could see through it to my skin. It was a petticoat like the ones worn in times gone by that held huge ballooning dresses in place. I could see through the skirt to the ground where perhaps fifty tiny chicks gathered around my body's ankles; they scuttled about me and moved like a cloud of yellow down as I walked.

family

I only remember this:
My mother, father, sister, brother and I were standing at the edge of a large body of water, like a wide bay. We could see across to the other side, far away in the distance. We each held a boogie board and were dressed in wetsuits, ready to cross the water. We were apprehensive, concerned about the distance and about the wild animals of the deep that we may encounter on the way, but we knew that this was what we had to do. I had a deep sense of connectedness with my family.
Later, I carried my mother on my back; she was light and, when I set her down, I was very gentle, careful not to hurt her. Her hair had been tousled during the ride and we laughed as I shaped it into a cockatoo's comb and showed her in the mirror.

handicap

I was due on stage to rehearse a dance routine with a dance troupe. Wooden cabaret style chairs were placed around the stage, one for each of the dancers. I knew the routine and sat on my chair, waiting for the entire troupe to arrive. Some music was playing in the background and I tried to stand but there was no strength in my legs, particularly in my knees, so that I was frozen in a half-standing, half-sitting position. It took all of my energy to fight the weakness; the pull of gravity was monumental, but I persevered, willing my body to stand. Perspiration beads bubbled on my forehead my legs felt like jelly, but I was determined to stand so that I could dance. Finally, after exerting all my strength, I rose out of the limbo stance and stood erect. My teacher came to me and said that she wasn't sure that I could continue in the troupe with such a handicap, but again I felt determination and decided to heal my knees.

hairy legs

I was talking with a man and my legs were bare. I became a little self-conscious as they were quite hairy - not dense coverage, indeed extremely sparse, but what there was was very long and blowing in the wind. Hairs, about ten centimetres long, swayed in the gentle breeze. I began to tell him that I knew that they were hairy and that I was planning on doing something about it, but my voice trailed off and I knew he wasn't listening, and that I sounded as though I was making excuses anyway.
Next the hairs became palm fronds that were growing on my legs; sharp, pointy leaves poked through my skin. I was less horrified than amused, and began to pull at the leaves, plucking them from my pores.

friendship & fences

I accepted a lift to university. The woman driving the car seemed to be the grown-up version of a child I knew when I was little. We had a certain familiarity that you have with those who you have known all your life. At one stage, she braked quickly and I fell out of the car, laughing. She pulled me back in and delivered me to the university grounds. Once there, I saw a lecturer and her child, waiting for me. They peered into the car but I didn't introduce my friend as I couldn't be sure I would remember her name. I waved goodbye and walked with the lecturer and little girl into a big building on our right. I remember thinking that it was not the way I would normally go, and I felt a greater pull to go into the building on our left where I thought I glimpsed a friend. Never-the-less, I followed her into the building and we walked around the bookshop there, where I also sensed that the lecturer had lost interest in my company. I left her and went to find my friend in the other building. There, I settled in.
Next, I was sitting there with my partner, B, and my friend, F, walked in. They excused themselves and went to have a private discussion. I was pleased as I was not sure that they would get on with one another. When they returned, we all sat down in seats that were arranged as though we were an audience waiting for a show. There were, however, no performers. Suddenly, F and B began singing and danced out the front. They performed a duet that was surprisingly harmonious. I looked across and saw F's partner in the audience. I put my hand on the back of her seat and said that we might have to organise a duet next. She was very warm in response, placing her hand on mine, and agreed. I was taken aback by her tenderness.
Next, a woman, who I understood to be a lecturer, sat with us to my left. She was wearing a turquoise top with a very open neckline and no bra. Every so often she put her hand to her breast. I was concerned that she might be in pain or may be ill. She spoke to our group and, though I cannot recall what she spoke of, I know that her words were poignant and wise. At one stage, she asked us to undertake a vision test. We had to stare at about twenty images, all of the same design but with graduating tonality, and choose which four or five of them were the clearest. She then began to grade us. She asked two men to stand - they were twin brothers. She sent one of them outside into the night, but I wasn't sure if that was because he had done well on the test or badly. Once outside, I could see him - my spirit followed him out into the field where he was to wait. It was surrounded by high stone walls with wooden paneling framing the top. He began to kick the fence, aiming high so that his boots struck the wood. Again and again he kicked against the fence that enclosed him.
Next, the man was gone but a huge black stallion was running around the field, striking his hoofs against the fence. His body was incredibly powerful as he ran. He began to demonstrate different ways of running, even showing me how he could bend his legs and shuffle across the ground on his knees. I was so surprised by his agility and by his ability to communicate. I hoped he would break free of the fence and run away.

painting and makeup

I was painting on a large canvas. The background was shades of black and there were many roses depicted in the bottom left-hand corner, sweeping around like a wave, until they faded out to black. I was painting over them in an oil paint that had been diluted so that the roses showed through. I was not sure that I liked the original painting, but as I brushed the paint over the canvas, I began to see the beauty of it. This coat of paint transformed an otherwise ordinary painting into something luminous and unique.

Later, I was with a group of people, standing outside around tall buildings, much like a university. One of the women told me she had some makeup that she though I should try. She opened a bag and placed it on a table. I could see cosmetics of various colours. I selected a pink blush and brushed a small amount onto my cheeks. Instead of a subtle glow, the pink was obvious and bright on my face. I tried to rub it off and in the process I spilled some blush onto the black coat that I was wearing. It was my grandfather's dinner jacket. I then tried to brush that off but I created hot ink finger marks that stood out even more. I asked for a tissue to wipe it off but instead of removing it, the smudge changed into a perfect map of my hand: the outline of the fingers and palm, the tendons, veins, bones and such all depicted in great detail.

baby to alien

A friend had a baby. We were outside, next to a field and, after she birthed the baby, I passed it to a woman who, after performing a couple of procedures such as checking over the baby and such, cut the umbilical cord. I passed the baby back to his mother.
Next, B had a baby. Sitting where the other woman had been sitting, on an old stone bench next to a field, she gave birth. Again, I passed the baby to the mid-wife who checked the baby and then cut the umbilical cord. I remember wondering if she was too fast to do this and if the cord had been cut too close to the baby's belly, but had to trust that she new what she was doing. She placed a part of the umbilical cord on a stone wall between us and sat the baby on the wall next to it. The baby was sitting up, very unlike a newborn. I quickly picked it up and turned to give the baby to B. I was concerned about B who was sitting, naked, very similarly to how the baby had been sitting, slumped and vulnerable. I covered her with a blanket to protect her back from the cold wind that was blowing over the field. In her arms, I noticed that the baby had the same stormy ocean eyes as hers. The baby looked around and smiled at the small group of people who had gathered, and then began to speak. We were amazed and realised that the baby was an alien who was visiting Earth. The baby was acutely intelligent and had extraordinary powers of perception. Suddenly, the baby was an adult figure of ambiguous sex. My brother and my sister were standing either side of me and the alien figure placed a hand on my forehead and read me, saying three words that described my nature. I only recall the word 'magical'. He or she also told me that I would be a leader or a warrior which surprised me; I felt so nondescript, particularly in comparison to this wonderful creature. I followed the alien as she/he walked about the space, reading various people - I hoped for approval and also to be able to transform or evolve to his or her level. I understood that this was human potential.

game & little girl

I was in a large hall with many other people. We were playing a game much like volleyball but without a net and instead of two teams, everyone had formed a circle and hit the ball up into the air, across the circle. Somehow I had been shunted out of the circle and had no real way of hitting the ball unless it fell behind the players. Only once, the ball came to me and I punched it to another player standing in the circle, to my left, so that she hit it across to the other side. I called out and asked everyone to move around and make room for me in the circle. They did so and the game went on.
Next, a little girl was next to me and I felt protective of her. I moved outside the game, lay down between a couple of friends that I have not seen since school, and the girl lay on my belly. We pulled a quilt over us and all lay quietly for a while, just resting. When the little girl was ready to move again, she kissed me on the cheek and went away.

labyrinth

I was walking through the hallways of the Sydney Opera House which were, in my dream, a labyrinth of tunnels and passages, staircases and alcoves. I was with a close friend who was a different friend at various times in the dream ... sometimes A and sometimes someone else. I saw my friend C walking down one of the halls with a group of glamorous people, heading toward a theatre venue where we were to see a performance. I was happy to see her and walked with her a while. At one stage, deep in the bowels of the complex building, we travelled up and down stairs and, fully clothed, waded through a pool of water to cross to the other side. Finally, we were waiting outside the particular theatre in which the show was about to begin. Whilst we waited, A and I sat on a bench seat and an Indigenous performer began to recite a powerful poem. Toward the end of the poem, I covered my face with my scarf and the performer bent down and rubbed his nose against mine. I then uncovered my face and he committed my face to memory. We entered the theatre and chose seats. A and I wanted to visit the toilet but apparently the line was long and there was no time. We took our seats and waited. I felt uncomfortable, lumbered by my bulky woolen clothing, so I shed a few layers. The theatre filled with sawdust and the noise of machinery, and we realised that they had to build the set before the performance could begin. I was concerned about the air pollution and the time it would take. We considered leaving. Finally, the group began to perform and it was awful. The performance was disjointed and made very little sense. I whispered to A and we decided to leave. We did our best to exit discreetly, but the performer who I had connected with earlier, recognised me and began to chase us. We ran and A made it out the door. I remembered that I had left my shoes back at my seat so I had to retreat, collect them, and run fast, back through the exit door. I made it outside but I couldn't see my friend. I was very unsure about which way to go as there were numerous hallways and doors to choose from. I took a punt on one and walked through the maze. I saw an actor I know, sitting outside another venue and she directed me to the bathroom. Inside the toilet cubicles, toilets were either missing or out of order. Back in the hallways, I continued searching for my friend and noticed the signs hanging above doors and pointing toward theatres and bars as I went.

panther & PM

I was in a vast room, perhaps a warehouse space. Prowling around the room was a black panther. At times, the panther morphed into a domestic cat, at other times, he was huge and wild. He wanted to eat something and rather than eat me, he decided to eat my dear friend A. I was not worried as I knew that she would be alright in the end. He ate her and thanked me for his meal by winding around my legs, rubbing himself against me. It was now night time and I could hear someone vomiting in the toilet. A reappeared in one piece. She peeked under the door and said that it was a former Prime Minister of Australia, throwing up in the toilet. We went into the next room where his wife was making tea, dressed in her dressing gown. I wondered if the PM was going to be in trouble as it was evident that he had been out very late and had had too much to drink, but his wife seemed calm and quite used to it. I sat down on an enormous bed with A and the PM. We began to talk about opportunities for women and women's groups. Another politician came in and asked how old I was. When I told him, he was surprised. He joined us on the bed, along with the PM's wife and a few others. We had a picnic, passing around biscuits, cups of tea and cold drinks. I was struck by how handsome the PM was, with his bright blue eyes and roughly hewn face.

family house

It was Christmas and I was at home with my family, in the house that we built. Though the exterior of the house was the same, the interior was very different. We were gathered on the lower level, setting tables and preparing food for our celebratory lunch. There were about twenty of us and not all were family; there were friends as well as people I barely know. On another level of the house, another group was gathered, also preparing a Christmas lunch. There were perhaps even more of them, squashed around the table they had set up. Downstairs, I decided to go outside to get some candles for the tables which were dressed in buttercup coloured cloths. I opened the door, stepped outside, and closed it behind me, feeling a wonderful rush of cool air on my face. I wondered why we were sitting inside with the doors closed when it was so fresh out here. Then I noticed that yet another family group outside, seated around a large table. A woman approached me and said that she wished that they were sitting inside where it was warmer, but I assured her that each space had its comforts. I collected a couple of tea light candles and some flowers, went back inside. We ate and drank and talked about things. At some stage, I was sitting on the ground on some cushions in the corner of the room where the roof sloped down very low. I was trying to get up with some difficulty, when a man offered to help, stretching out his hand. I could see that he was wearing surgical gloves and suspected they may be soiled, but I accepted his hand anyway. He helped me to my feet whilst he balanced by holding onto the exposed roof beams, and once I was out of the corner, he suggested that I wash my hands as his gloves were dirty with human waste. I thanked him and found my way down to a below-ground level where there were rooms devoted to bathing - a bath house of sorts. I skated across the wet floor searching for the soap which I found on a shelf along with many other bathing items: bubble baths, oils, brushes, cloths, pumice stones and more. In these rooms was another family group. They were bathing and they were also cleaning their natural sea sponges and scrubbing brushes which were piled up in the centre of the steaming room. I waved hello, washed my hands, and left them in peace. I went back outside, into the yard, where people were talking about a beautiful woman who had returned to the house after many years away, hoping to reconcile with a long lost love - Jon Stevens. They said that she would be surprised for whilst she was still youthful though mature, he had continued to smoke and drink and was greatly aged.

leaving and dogs

I was standing inside a house that I was leaving. Other people had also left. They had gathered in the hills surrounding the house, camping there, preparing for a journey ahead. I could see their tents from the window where I stood, about to jump out and join them. I realised that I needed more provisions: warmer clothing, toiletries and money. I was also worried about which shoes to wear, thinking that I needed something suitable for walking long distances. I went back into the bedroom to collect more of my things. A family of about eight or ten people walked into the room and I did my best to deal with their children touching and interfering with my things. Whilst I answered their questions, I saw, out of the corner of my eye, the father steal money from my wallet. I went to him and asked for it, telling him that I needed it. He immediately returned it. I also noticed that one of the younger family members had taken my shampoo. I told the father and asked if he could get it back for me, saying that my hair would fall out without it. I knew that it wouldn't, but I felt that I needed to exaggerate to convince him. They left and I waited awhile but no one returned with the shampoo. I decided to follow them, finding them in an apartment like a small room, overcrowded by the large family. I sat down with them on cushions on the floor, and asked for what was mine. I was very careful not to sound as though I doubted their honesty. To my left sat the mother of the family. She was very beautiful with blue eyes and a dark complexion; mixed race but with an Indian parent. I liked her and we began to talk, but her two dogs sat either side of me, nuzzling against my legs, and attempting to chew my hands. I had my hands tucked under my thighs, uncomfortable as I tried to listen to what the woman said, but also trying to protect my hands from the dogs. I felt self-conscious and hoped she wouldn't notice how her dogs were treating me. At one stage, the dogs ran across the room and I realised that they were half the size I thought they were, but then they returned to try to maul my hands, and they felt bigger again. I knew that they were not vicious, they were only playing, but I felt powerless against them.

books & dance

I was back in West End, staying in one of the houses in which I used to live. I had borrowed lots of books and it was time to return them. The sun was setting and the darkness encroached. I sorted through the books and selected the ones that were to be returned, packed them in the car, and drove across town. Up in the hills of a close-by suburb, I visited a bar where I stopped for a while. I cannot remember what I had or who I spoke to, but soon it was time to go. I had a sense that my mother was urging me home.

Next, I was with a friend and we were dancing. We were in the middle of a basic dance floor and there were people casually observing us - not a formal audience, just passers by. I placed both my little fingers gently on the outer edges of his hands as we moved about the space. He said it was time to sing a particular song and I initially objected as I didn't know it at all. He assured me that when the music started, we would find our way. He turned on the music and I began to sing, following a word sheet that appeared before my eyes. I wondered why he didn't sing but I continued none-the-less. I noticed that the people who had been watching had drifted away and I laughed that we must not have been very entertaining. The space in which we were dancing shrank and we found ourselves in the garage of my family home. I bowed out from the dance and went upstairs.

lipstick & japan

I was staying in a huge house with many other people. I went upstairs to get dressed for an outing. After showering, I applied some luscious melony lipstick - it was glossy and fragrant. A male friend who had come upstairs with his girlfriend who was also dressing, borrowed the lipstick and applied it to his own lips. I slipped into some clothing and was surprised by my choices: a black skirt that skimmed just above my knees and a filmy ivory top. My legs were bare and golden. I found a pair of strappy, high sandals that I put on. I took my time criss-crossing the long laces around my ankles. Finally, I was ready to go back downstairs.

Next, I was staying in a Japanese apartment. I woke in a beautiful room with brown and green upholstery and exquisite fittings. I straightened the bed, folding back the crisp sheets and a felt blanket, but a young woman who worked there quickly stopped me doing more and encouraged me to enjoy rather than work. Over the course of the next few hours we became firm friends and planned to spend time together. She showed me where she lived and told me about her routine, where she ate, what she ate and where she worked and studied. We realised that I lived many, many miles away, in another country, so we would not see each other often.