shouting & remorse

I was in a house with several other women. Something angered me and I shouted at the others. My voice was loud and hoarse as I attempted to communicate my feelings, and I was aware that I was communicating badly. Instantly, I was ashamed of my behaviour and I wondered when I had started shouting like that, when it had become acceptable to me. The other women were disapproving in their silence. I understood that a very young child, a girl, was sitting outside in the backyard on a swing, upset because of my screaming. I wanted to comfort her but felt obliged to stay inside, taking part in the household activities. Eventually someone else went to be with her. I crept outside and saw that she was now next door with a group of other people, much like a church congregation, happily dancing to some music. I felt relieved that she was alright and I went back inside to attend to another small child, a boy, who was waiting for me.