fear

I am waiting to cross a very busy road. Enormous trucks like road trains hurtle past - smoke blowing, engines roaring, lights beaming. Giant tyres spin past and I wait, anxious. B walks across the road easily. I can see her on the other side. An old woman with a walking stick and wearing lavender also waits. She hangs back from the kerb and I think she must be worried about crossing too. The lights change and it is time to cross the road. I go to help the old woman and she calls me 'dear'. Crossing the road, however, proves to be terribly hard. My legs won't work properly and each step requires enormous effort and concentration. My fear paralyses me so I walk with long, wobbly strides, swaying and very slow. The old woman thinks I am drunk and shuns me. She disapproves. The lights have changed again, the old woman is safe on the other side, and I am still crossing the road, trying to master my fear so that I can walk easily again.

overcoming obstacles

Climbing up a short hill, only as tall as my shoulder though extremely steep. The two others with me reach the top easily and wait for me there. They are puzzled by how difficult I find it. As I climb, the ground turns to wet, slimy mud and my feet and hands slide back down with every attempt. The hill becomes even steeper, until it is at right angles to the ground. My legs feel weak and powerless, unable to carry me to the top, yet I am determined to make it. I find plastic mesh buried in the muddy hill wall and cling to it, pulling myself up. I have to throw my right leg forward, then my left leg, moving them manually, one after the other. I pull myself up the hill - the others still waiting - and finally reach the top.